


Russian Roulette

by afrostpatternintherain



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Depression, M/M, Panic Attacks, Sharing a Bed, Spooning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-29
Updated: 2016-10-29
Packaged: 2018-08-27 19:53:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8414590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afrostpatternintherain/pseuds/afrostpatternintherain
Summary: To Yuri, every single day was like a game of Russian roulette; if you're lucky you're going to have a  good day, but if you aren't you might end up dying.Today was one of those bad days and Viktor ended up finding out about it.





	

To Yuri, every single day was like a game of Russian roulette; if you're lucky you're going to have a good day, but if you aren't you might end up dying. One thing was sure though, the outcome was always an unwanted surprise.

Today was one of those days where he had been hit by the bullet instead of nothing but thin air.

The second he woke up Yuri knew exactly what kind of day it was going to be; blue waves threatening to drown him after solely one simple wrong word. Despite all of this he still got up, took a shower, brushed his teeth and went to practice.

Still, on such days focusing was incredibly hard and barely possible. No matter how hard he tried to concentrate on his form -on ways to improve- his mind kept drifting into nothingness.

As they were taking a break, Viktor approached him with his usual kind look on his face and asked with a gentle tone of voice, 'Yuri, are you alright?' And no matter how desperately he tried to hide it, Yuri couldn't help but flinch. So Viktor had noticed after all. A bittersweet smiled crept onto his face and a laugh sounding downright wrong escaped his lips.

'I' fine Viktor, don't worry. Everything's alright.'

For a split second there was the slightest indication of a scowl appearing on Viktor's face, a small sign of his brows furrowing as well.

'Alright,' he unexpectedly said and just like that, they continued their training.

Deep down however, Yuri simply wanted to cry. There wasn't a specific reason for why he was feeling so wrong again, he didn't need one. His brain and body were acting in their own malicious ways and there was nothing he could do about it.  
  


After the training ended Yuri quickly went home just so he could run to his room, shut the door and let himself flop onto the bed. In moments like this, he just begged for sleep to come and get him as fast as possible. There was something alluring yet dangerous about the cozy darkness of sleep; a dream world where everything went according to plan. After all, Yuri didn't wish to die. Death itself was a terrifying creature, a nightmare you couldn't escape. It was the thought of sleeping for an eternity or two, just so you could wake up and feel alive again that seemed to be this comforting to him. However, Viktor would be long dead by then and that was a world Yuri would never want to be a part of.  
In many ways, the arrival of Viktor had changed his life. The man understood him without any words and that was something Yuri wasn't used to in the slightest.

No wonder he had fallen even harder for him.  
However, sleep just didn't want to come and get him tonight. With every passing minute his brain was continuing to overthink more and more, reminding Yuri of possibly every single mistake he had made in his whole life. Neither regulating his breathing nor trying to think of his happy place were working or of any help.

Soon,Yuri felt the familiar clenching of his chest and the even more familiar feeling of stinging eyes. Today was a really bad day.  
Suddenly, there was a soft knock on his door. Heart beating to his chest and eyes still stinging in horror, he tried to calm down one last time. Although Yuri tried his best, it just made everything worse. Hopefully the person in front of the door would grow tired of waiting and just leave before having to witness the actual mess that called itself Katsuki Yuri.  
After a few moments of silence a voice called from the other side of that wicked door.

'Yuri.' Without saying anything else, Viktor entered the room. As soon as he spotted Yuri lying on the bed, curled up and sobbing silently, he ran to his side. ' Yuri, what's wrong?' he asked, voice filled with concern and a tiny hint of fear. He didn't receive an answer, but to be honest, he didn't need one.  
Quickly, he crawled onto the bed and moved closer to Yuri.  
Moments later skin was pressed against skin, with his chest getting pressed against Yuri's back. He held him close and from time to time he stroked his hair, pulled him a little closer just to remind him that he was there, just to show him how much he really cared.

Through Viktor's heartbeat and presence, the tears soon stopped falling. Still, he felt draíned and tired, the after-effects of yet another panic attack.

Yuri wasn't alright, but recognizably calmer by now. Slowly, his heart started to beat normally again and some time later, he was free to breathe again.

Not even once did Viktor let go of him and not even once had he complained or shown a lack of understanding.

How could one human being be this kind?

Normally he would've been called weak and sick by now. People usually didn't get his struggles.

_Yuri stop crying._

_Man up Yuri!_

_What the hell is wrong with him?!_

_What a weakling._

Viktor however had accepted him just like that, even with all his flaws and problems. No matter what, he always tried to make him feel as comfortable as possible. Sometimes he was being pushy, but never to the point of being forceful. Viktor was a playboy and always so very close, but he was also loving and kind. There was so much more to him than what the critics were assuming. Viktor was just Viktor after all.

Exhausted, Yuri finally fell asleep, entangled in his arms.

 

As he woke up in the morning, he was feeling better than the day before. Perhaps today would be another day without getting the bullet in the Russian roulette of life and to be honest, this was fine. After all, Yuri knew there was someone he could rely on, someone who cared even if it ended up being one of the bullet-days.

The sheets were rustling softly as Yuri tried to get up. However there were Viktor's arms hugging him and holding him close; not daring to let go of him just yet. Slowly, Yuri sank back down onto the mattress. For a few moments he watched Viktor sleep, adored the way his chest was rising and sinking, smiled as he spotted a few lonely freckles on his nose.

After a few minutes of thinking about it, he eventually let his arm rest on the side of Viktor's hip. Then he pressed his lips onto his cheek -a sweet and caring peck- and murmured a sentence he had learned only recently.

' **Спасибо** **Виктор.'**

  
  


 

**Author's Note:**

> I really love Yuri on Ice because damn that series, so I thought: 'Hey, how about you write another oneshot?' And yeah the first thing my brain came up with that. Personally, I have the headcanon that Yuri's got depression.  
> Hope you enjoyed my little fic, comments and kudos are always appreciated.  
> (If you were wondering, the Russian sentence says 'Thank you Viktor')


End file.
